Friday, September 2, 2011

Your Emotions Hold You Back


It’s always interesting how standing on the outside of a situation gives a vastly different perspective than to be inside or within that given situation. Upon reading and reflection, the defining element is one’s emotional investment or lack thereof to said scenario.
Even in life or death situations, people hold back from doing the right or best thing because an emotion - guilt, pride, sorrow, embarrassment, anger - is holding them back. If you’ve read Malcolm Gladwell’s book where he talks about the pilot communication problem and the resulting crashes, you will know what I mean. Whenever you are confronted with a problem and have to act or change something, when you are not eager to jump in, there’s an emotional barrier you have to overcome.

At first, you may not know what it is. There is just an uncomfortable, nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right. And as you talk to your friends, whatever advice or suggestion they give, you shoot it down. Logically all their solutions make perfect sense and will, in fact, solve your problem. However, what you need isn’t a solution - it’s an emotional breakthrough to come to terms with whatever thought, feeling, or misperception you carry about the problem you have.
Until you can be okay with where you are, you won’t be okay with getting to where you need to be. You will allow excuses and laziness to justify not doing anything because you are hoping the problem will magically go away or with enough denial, perhaps you’ll learn to deal with it.
Often, facing the world and seeing reality for what it is, is really difficult. It’s great to walk the line of optimism, hope, and perhaps things changing in a split second, if you are patient just a little bit longer. You wonder if you misunderstood or could have said or done the wrong thing to contribute to the problem.
Life is short. Every day you live that you aren’t actively pursuing your goals or happiness, is another day wasted. Waiting for the right time or person becomes just that - a waiting game. So whatever it is that you are mulling about, figure out what it is you really want, then figure out how to get there in the smartest, shortest time possible. Life is already hard enough, and will throw challenges your way, so you will already lose time, energy, and money. Waiting only doubles that deficit.
I was taught at a young age to carpe diem. L, I hope you will too. Although it may sound selfish to put yourself first, if you aren’t happy and cared for, you can’t contribute to those around you - be it at work, at home, or in the community. Sometimes, solving other people’s problems should not be your concerns or your burdens to bear. It doesn’t make you a bad person to want a life of your own. I sense that you are trying to grasp that concept and I know it isn’t easy. Everyone has a choice and at times they are all hard, difficult, lesser of the two evil “choices.” However, they are choices that do, in fact, exist. What will you choose, when, and more importantly, for what reasons? And if you don’t look out yourself, who will? This is my way, through invisible, magical osmosis... I am thinking of you. :)

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