Life Lessons Through Art & External Perspectives

Hello New and Returning Readers!  

I’ve spent the first half of this year really delving into my hobbies and interests.  While learning and growing is always steady for me, I decided to lean into creative pursuits once I discovered so many amazing classes I could take within 3 miles of where I live.  I have LITERALLY been in some sort of art class, art expression session, or doing artsy projects at home a couple times a week, if not more.  I have been doing this for the past 6 months, often spending hours just painting, creating, and using my right hemisphere. 

I have always considered myself not creative because I am so very Type A.  I can’t come up with an original work, my imagination isn’t really there, but I enjoy the creative outlet and process.  It’s good to be “bad” at things and have hobbies that you enjoy for the sake of it.  Not everything in life has to be about improvement, progress, or growth.  It can be just for fun.  And the creative process is one of those things for me.

I’ve learned a lot about myself during these art classes.  They are one-time classes or workshops so I never have the same teacher twice.  And these are many different types of classes with many different materials - fabrics, water color, dirt, clay, paper, yarn, etc.  I always felt stressed because I felt we didn’t have enough time.  I felt rushed to finish the “assignment.”  And I learned a lot about technique or best practices even in 1 hour which was by trial and error.  The more I stuck with the art classes, the more I shifted the perspective of MYSELF.  

It started very small and by coincidence.  A lot of the classes, at the end, we would walk around to all the other tables to view everyone’s work.  We would also speak about our project, sort of similar to a show & tell, except we were all adults and not in preschool.  LOL  And the great thing about the class was, you heard from other people which pieces were their favorites, and why, and once or twice a teacher would say privately to me about why they liked my piece or another peer would say mine was their favorite.  This was surprising and very nice to hear.  

I always saw my own work and thought it was fine, or okay, or good enough.  And I would take pictures of my art work, the inspiration of what I was trying to copy and my version.  I would send it to my friends and family for fun so they knew what I was up to that week.  And more than once, I would get asked, which one is mine and which is the original.  They would mention they can’t tell, they look exactly the same.  And I was floored.  Because I would send a screen shot from the internet of what I was copying and then my piece, so I figured it was very obvious because a little bit of the text for the title of the art work, artist’s name or web page would be showing.  So I would say the one on the right is mine.  

When I would look at my art work in real life I felt meh about it.  But for some reason when I looked at the photo of my work I could be a little bit more objective about how I did.  When I would look at the photo of the side by side comparison I could see a little bit more why my friends and family asked me which one was mine.  It was as if the photo gave me some distance, a literal different lens to view my work objectively.

To me it’s like how you clean your room, leave it and close the door, and then come back in to see it with fresh eyes and someone else’s perspective. Or how you write an email or essay and wait a few days and revisit it and see other things you didn’t see before.  That’s how a photograph worked for me with my artwork.  I could distance myself from the artwork as if I was viewing SOMEONE ELSE’s work. 

By the 5th or 6th month of taking art classes constantly, another shift happened.  My different art teachers would notice me working away and comment that I had experience, such as “Oh you’re not new to this!  You’re doing great!” and I would be shocked and respond, “Oh.  I’ve taken a lot of art classes lately.” 

The other day, the exercise was to draw and then paint what we drew.  I chose my object and the mini instruction was to look at the object you were drawing and not the paper.  The more you look at your object the more accurate you would be.  Use one line and don’t lift your pencil off the paper, just draw very slowly.  So, me being Type A, follow the directions to the T.  I did just that.  I thought my drawing was fine, but I had a question about scale.  I can’t use an entire sheet of paper because I can not spatially gauge correctly.  Even at home, I will always use ¼ of the paper.  I asked my art instructor how do I get better at scale.  So she sat down with me to look at my work and I explained I did exactly what she told me.  She took one look at my drawing and answered quietly so no one else could hear, she stated I already knew how to draw.  Those directions she shared earlier don’t apply to me.  That she gives the above blanket tutorial because most people do not know how to draw.  They tend to look at the paper so much and draw what they think the object looks like vs looking at the actual object and drawing what they see.  She did give me pointers to lightly outline for placement and use my entire arm and shoulder to draw instead of just moving my wrist.  The fact that she said I already knew how to draw was mind boggling to me.  I would have never said I knew how to draw; that it was a skill I possessed. 

I did several variations of my drawing trying to improve each one.  And I really looked and practiced deliberately.  Because this class was on the longer side at 2.5 hours by the last 30 minutes I was getting tired and bored.  So I decided to trace the object’s outline instead and only freehand draw the inside details as practice.  And I painted each drawing a different color. 

When my instructor came back around I showed her my progress; she mentioned if I wanted to get into the arts, I should consider being a textile or wallpaper artist because I enjoy precision and order.  She pointed out one of my painted drawings and wanted me to imagine being hired for that design on wallpaper that would go well with a home in Morocco.  

The striking part of this story is, when I was showing her my other versions, I told her I traced the last couple and I only worked on the inside lines freehand.  And when I went to show her the 100% freehand vs the traced ones, I had to pause.  I struggled for a few seconds, puzzled.  I could only figure out which ones I had traced because I manually counted.  I could no longer distinguish at a glance which one was truly mine and which one I outlined the object.  They all looked exactly the same now, even to me…

Epilogue

It’s now been about a month since I originally wrote this piece.  I have been painting more, and gifting what I create.  I had a breakthrough moment when I decided to paint an animal I never attempted before and it came out really well.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was close.  And I was really proud of myself.  It was that day I decided I would be comfortable stating out loud that I painted; I put in enough time and commitment that I was no longer dabbling in this new hobby.  I was no longer a novice.  As of August 3rd, 2026, I have an additional descriptor. I am now an artist.  

Unexpected Inspiration

Dear New and Returning Readers,

As you know, I only blog when I have something meaningful to write, whether it’s about work or life.  This one, like most of my posts, is a applicable to both…

I recently went to a Sofar Sounds concert and if you’ve never been, it is a concert of 3 unknown artists in an intimate, small setting.  It being my first one, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I was soon delighted to learn that the show was so small and so intimate that they had no mics or any amplifying equipment.  

The first artist mentioned when she sang what we heard would really be her since there were no mics.  It very much reminded me of MTV’s Unplugged even though they did have mics and speakers.  I remember watching a retrospective about when Tori Amos was on MTV Unplugged, it ended up being such a vulnerable experience for her that she freaked out shortly after she started her set and left in the middle to compose herself for a few minutes before coming back.  She wasn’t prepared for how exposed she’d feel.  Like Tori, this first artist said something similar because before each song she'd explain the back story of why she wrote the song or what was going on in her life while the audience was a mere 10 feet in front of her.  

The first two artists I enjoyed very much and the third artist, he was very talented, but my least favorite; maybe because it was his genre of music or I just didn’t relate to his songs as the first two artists.  

He came from a very musical background.  His dad was a choir director, ran the marching band, his dad played several instruments, etc.  However, despite his dad being very gifted, he found himself not as musically inclined.  Traditional school was not his cup of tea, and even going to music school was still very hard for him.  He tried a couple of instruments, tried to follow in his father’s footsteps, and gave up on music.  

It wasn’t until a random trip to a grocery store much later that he had an epiphany.  He went to the store to get bread, Oroweat Honey Bread was his favorite.  And as he was grabbing the loaf of bread, he noticed the numerous types of breads there were.  He told himself, “You don’t have to be the best; get on the shelf.”

And that mantra, “get on the shelf,” stuck with me. It really marinated in my mind because of the unexpected inspirational lesson, from the musician I liked the least (and the crowd seemed to like the most).  

But after some thought over a few days, I began to have a different perspective, a total shift in perspective. One, because honey bread would not be my favorite bread at all because it sounds so sweet. And two, my friend entered a baking contest and was really sad that she didn't win. I was trying to think of what to say to console her when I would see her later. While that last singer/songwriter used the mantra as a way to allow himself to start, to become a musician, and give himself permission even though he knew he would never be the best, I heard a better lesson.  While Oroweat Honey Bread was HIS favorite bread, everyone else has a different favorite bread and that’s why so many varieties, types, and flavors are sold.

So after much thought, the message became, for me, and what I told my friend: You are someone’s favorite…    

A Re-Post - Interview Styles: How I Aced A Job Interview Without Selling Myself

 I’ve been on many interviews over my career and have encountered many different interview styles - the behavioral interview, the panel format with a few people interviewing me at once, the “mean” interviewer, and so forth.  One interview “style” that caught me off guard was the NON interview style.  It was almost like going out for coffee, as it was more of a hello, meet and greet, and ZERO questions were asked about my background, skill set, or qualifications.  My resume was not even looked at.  So in an interview style without the actual interview questions to answer and sell myself, it was hard for me to figure out my competitive edge.  In the end, I passed with flying colors and here’s how.

5 Tips to Survive a Job Hunt / Pandemic / Stress

Hello, new and returning readers!

I hope all of you are doing well and are staying safe.  The world is going through some difficulties right now and for the foreseeable future.  If you’ve been a long time reader of my blog, you know that I believe personal and professional development are closely related.  Growth in one area will certainly impact your life and be a force multiplier positively affecting every aspect of it. 

I wanted to share my tips on what works for me in times of stress, but I made it a clickbait-y title so it would seem more timely.  Stress is stress, so I’ve used these techniques for years, regardless of the source of stress. Interestingly, the last year or two is the calmest I've ever been. I've learned it's true, worrying means you suffer twice. And even right now, amongst all that is happening, I think it's truly eye opening that there is only so much one can do when a virus exists asymptomatically. Wash your hands, wear a mask, be distanced, be proactive, help others, and take good care of yourself. You can only do your part. So below are 5 tips for dealing with stress that I hope will help you in some small way.  

1) Diversify your identity.

I wish I could remember which blogger gentleman wrote at length about this concept of your self esteem coming from more than one source.  (I had read it a few years ago.)  Much like one diversifies their financial portfolio to reduce risk, the same should be done for your emotional and mental health.  When I came across this concept, it was so simple, yet so remarkable.  

Instead of viewing oneself as an accomplished, contributing breadwinner, provider, or citizen, take stock that you are also many other things.  You are most likely a few of the following - an unwavering family member, reliable friend, devoted pet owner, helpful neighbor, a curious hobbyist, loving significant other, loyal sibling, dedicated parent, generous volunteer, studious learner, skilled amateur chef or baker, a handy DIYer, a selfless stranger, and the list goes on.

Don’t stake all your self confidence on one, narrow sliver of your humanity.  When, not if, something negative happens, the other areas you’ve invested your time, energy, and emotions will still keep you afloat.  And they are very likely the very things that will get you through a tough time.  

2) Process your story frequently.

I am a big fan of Steve Jobs’ philosophy about only being able to connect the dots by looking backwards.  He illustrates this by mentioning 3 pivotal moments that spanned ten years. (Dropping out, calligraphy class, and Mac having beautiful fonts)  I’ve found myself applying that same principle in increments of months and within a couple years vs through decades.  

Taking the time to look for patterns in your life and contemplating what those decisions or events mean gives you a more cohesive perspective. It’s like data mining your own life.  What does the data say about who you are, your skill set, your values, your passion, your principles, where you’re headed, your goals, and what’s important to you?  

Doing this helped me professionally and personally.  When I sat down and wrote a list of all the tasks, projects, the people, and companies I worked with, I noticed common occurrences.  It helped write my unique selling point and summarize my career into one sentence.  I could see all the skills I used repeatedly, all the circumstances I was hired and why, that I had repeat clients, and I was able to brand myself better.  

When I look at my personal life, I can re-frame my perspective and find things to be grateful for.  Sometimes you can’t see the silver lining until you wait.  Sometimes what seems like a bad event turns out to be fine or even good, you just didn't know it at the time. There can only be new beginnings by ending old chapters. The reality is, sometimes that call is made by you, sometimes it's not. Decisions, risks, events, and information become more clear and take on a different meaning once you start moving through life and the dust settles.  I get it though, the waiting is hard. Case in point, during this pandemic, or any time you have an emergency, really, I’m sure many people have learned how valuable time and resources are, and who is very much in their inner circle.  You learn who you can count on, rely on. You’ve probably also learned what money can and can not buy.  And that the best things in life are free. Still, I know we're all waiting for life to return to normal. That day will come.

3) Theme your life.

Very often when you are stressed out, it is instinctive to want to do everything to fix the situation.  The stress is gnawing at you, you’re looking for a solution, you’re restless.  One of the best things you can do is step back and take a break, however short.  One reason is to sort through your emotions.  Another reason is to have some sort of normalcy in your life, even if only a little bit.  

One of the best ways to do this is to take whatever your necessary daily activities are and give it a theme.  By theme-ing your life, the process of accomplishing whatever activities you normally have to do anyway, now become a learning tool, a goal setting objective, and a way to gamify your life by adding an overarching theme.  

Here are 2 examples of themes I had incorporated in my life previously, John Hughes and My Existential Crisis Cooking.  

First, John Hughes...  Whenever I needed to relax and wanted to watch a movie at home, I decided I’d watch every single John Hughes movie I could because I had not seen most of them.  I chose John Hughes because at the time I worked in entertainment, there was a resurgence in teen movies, and romcoms are always a long-standing genre.  I could get in a breadth of movie history while relaxing and it would help me catch up on iconic pop culture that I was lacking.  Who said being a couch potato was laziness?  I’m expanding my MIND!  LOL (FYI - My favorite was Say Anything.  Yours?)

My existential crisis cooking project came about when I was figuring out how I wanted to pivot and gain more work life balance.  Because I had been a workaholic for so long, I rarely cooked.  So I made it a point to cook every single day, trying out new recipes, looking for ingredients I had never used, and going on a culinary adventure from my own kitchen.  I pinched and rolled homemade pot stickers and egg rolls.  I made soups from scratch and stir frys.  So while this didn’t directly enhance my career, I had more fun with life skills everyone should have.  One could argue, eating healthy and fresh foods does help my body and mind, which does help me function better! 

4) Learn the art of storytelling.

Stories are everywhere.  In how you recount your day to someone, the trajectory of your career, how you met and fell in love.  A good story is a good story, regardless of the genre.  Even in its most basic element, a story doesn’t have to be funny, or dramatic, or the best story you ever heard.  It only has to be interesting.  It has to have a beginning, middle, and end.  It has to make sense.  And aside from that, it only has to be unique.  And everyone can tell a unique story because there is only one of you.  Part of a good story is in the delivery.  Even if the story is only mildly interesting, if you’re excited to share the story, the listener will be that much happier to listen.  If you put your own spin or perspective on it, it amps up the quality of the story.  

Learning how to tell a story is very seldom discussed.  But once you get the hang of it, it’ll open more doors than you realize. Including the stories you tell yourself.

5) Focus on this hour.

We’re in strange times right now.  Even if we weren’t, life can be difficult.  Train yourself to only think about this hour when you feel like there’s not much more you can handle.  If even that seems too daunting, focus only on getting through the next 15-30 min.  Think about what you can fix now, what’s in your control immediately, or what you can do right now that will make your situation even slightly better for the long haul.  Too often we get bogged down by too many details, too much of the big picture, and we get overwhelmed.  When you are at your absolute limit, ask yourself, “What do I need right THIS second?”  Maybe it’s a snack, some water, a nap, to write a to do list so you feel less stressed, a walk outside, to pet your dog or cat, to surf the internet for 10 minutes.  Doing one small thing to help your mind, body, or future is better than doing nothing.  Do something now to get you to the next step, the next hour.  

Share your thoughts below if found these helpful or have tried these before.  (I’m also writing on Part 2 of this column as we speak.)

***New “rule” - when you ask me a question for anonymous advice and I answer it, could you write an anonymous comment so I know you're the one who ASKED and read the post? :) 

As always, I usually tweet any new posts I have. And anyone can email me questions and I respond only via this blog, not to your personal address. 

I also write over at Jobstr.com under Hollywood Executive Assistant. 

http://jobstr.com/threads/show/4303-hollywood-executive-assistant

7 Tips to Cancel with Diplomacy & Grace

Hello, new and returning readers!  

In today’s post, I wanted to talk about the issue of being on time.  The sheer number of increasingly flaky, unreliable, and blatantly rude behavior I’ve encountered in the last few years is quite astonishing.  I’m not talking about the run of the mill stuff like being a few minutes late and letting people know you’ll be late on the rare occasion. That’s understandable.

A bit eyebrow raising is the time when an executive was 30 min late to meet with my boss.  We didn’t get an update from the assistant and when the executive showed up, they didn’t acknowledge how late they were, nor that they were even late.  We learned this was the norm for the executive to show up 30 min or more late without notice every single time.

It was also strange to me when people would consistently show up at 1pm to check in with security when the meeting was at 1pm.  By the time they got their guest badge and were escorted to our floor 15 minutes had passed. This happened about 99% of the time.  

One day, I had three meetings in which HOURS of my/our time were wasted; my entire morning was shot.  They either didn’t show up at all or were an hour late.

So, here are three stories of what not to do, one example of what to do, and 7 tips.

1) We knew a vendor where we literally gave them millions of dollars in business on a previous project in the past year.  So while it wasn’t a current/active project, we did know them fairly recently. They had asked for the meeting a couple weeks out and sent an invite with a location to be determined a bit closer.  A day before the meeting, the location hadn’t been decided upon. Because we didn’t hear from them, we reached out. In confirming if the meeting would be taking place, they eagerly confirmed. They chose a location that suited us, the client.  They updated the invite and sent it to us. The next day, we arrive at the location. We text the vendor that we checked in with the front desk, but would wait in the lobby for them before getting situated inside since we were 10 minutes early. They responded they were about to pull up and park.  It’s worth noting that the location chosen (by them, since they were familiar with it) was a busy area so parking and walking to the building could take a few minutes. It would be like traversing a small community college campus. While waiting, I’m reading articles on my phones and checking in and touching base with someone in Hawaii.  The contact in Hawaii asks if the vendor has arrived yet and we realize it’s been 15 minutes, which is sort of understandable. More texting with the contact in Hawaii while we wait, discussing various quick topics to get through low-hanging fruit. I check the time and realize it’s been another 15 minutes. No word and no appearance of our vendor.  At this point, it’s ridiculous we’ve been kept waiting for a total of 40 minutes, since we arrived 10 minutes early. We text the vendor to reschedule and leave. And to this day, we have no idea what happened. They didn’t get back to us, nor their assistant. A complete no-show without explanation.

2) Later that day we also had a conference call scheduled with another vendor who wanted to earn our business.  This call was scheduled 2 weeks out. In the meantime, the vendor sent over the Google document we could both edit in the days leading up to the call.  Ten minutes before the call, I go into the document to do some quick reviews, figure out what questions I want to address first, and to prepare overall.  I can see by the notes and document changes the vendor was also in the document a few minutes earlier. A good sign. Except they never call. 4pm comes and goes with no word.  No word about being late or needing to reschedule, until we received an email 24 hours later. They had to work late on a project and by the time they finished it was too late to call.

3) I’ve also had vendors state they really wanted to work with us.  They offer to set up a meeting in advance before they get pulled away with other projects and business travel to make sure they prioritize our project.  They are very responsive to our questions and concerns, 2-3 times a day we hear back on pricing, information, etc that we’ve asked for so that we can all show up to the pivotal meeting to hash out final details.  They contact us 24 hours prior to get out of the meeting. However, when they advise us they can’t attend the meeting as planned, there is no apology of having to reschedule. There are no new specific dates and times to meet except “sometime next week toward end of day.”  And most importantly, there’s no assurances of it being a personal emergency or something out of their control. We get that bigger and better paying projects come along, but there was also no diplomatic finessing that is the mark of amazing customer service and client relations.  All of a sudden the meeting time no longer worked for them and they wanted to change it. This is a very different message they sent earlier that they wanted to build out their schedule based around us before they got too busy. This was really odd to us and left a bad taste. Two days later, they circle back and want to schedule another meeting for a week later.  We give the benefit of the doubt and agree. Again, 24 hours before the meeting, they back out, but provide no details except they’d like for us to wait until the following week again. Good vendors would still say they’d still like to work with you or refer you to another team or company that they’ve worked alongside of that can take good care of you as well. Even if they can’t work with us, they try not to burn the bridge and be helpful.  If we weren’t so good at planning, securing bids, and exploring all options and pricing, we could have been really left in a bind. The only message we got loud and clear from that vendor was they did not want our business and expected us to wait for 3 weeks until we had our very first meeting. Duly noted. Forever.

Here’s a good example of how to cancel with grace and diplomacy.  

One day I heard from a CEO who was looking for an assistant.  Instead of having me go through HR and be screened by other executives, they wanted to meet with me directly.  They ask when I’m free. Because I’m about to go on vacation, I give them a date when I’m back from vacation. They politely and kindly asks if we can meet earlier as they are interviewing other candidates and because they are about to be out of the country for a month while I’m on vacation.  So, I agree to meet the day before my vacation out of courtesy and to foster goodwill. They assure me if anything changes with their schedule because they are traveling they will reach out to me. I’m juggling getting ready for vacation among everything else in my life. I now have to prepare for this interview which will take at least 3-5 hours.  I read extensively about the company, the executive team, any news articles, and prepare many questions. I also have to think about which stories and skill sets to showcase that will best fit the role and company I’m interviewing for. This is why it takes me a few hours to prepare for one meeting, not counting the commute time in LA traffic. I show up to the interview and the CEO is not there.  No one knew about the meeting because they set it up directly with me. Thus no one knows who I am and they are not expecting me at all. So I offer to come back in a month when the CEO is back. By the time I get home they have already left me a very long voicemail profusely apologizing, explaining what happened. They admit they completely forgot as they had a personal emergency and no one has access to their calendar.  They offer to talk to me on the phone if I wish whenever I’m available at my convenience. I respond I can just wait until they get back so they can focus on their trip.

7 Tips to recover from canceling/rescheduling with grace and diplomacy:

1. The greater the offense the more profuse the apology should be.  And the greater the offense, it must be a phone call. If rescheduling with enough notice, written communication is fine.  In more last minute cases, call/leave a voicemail AND send a written notice so you can make sure you covered all your bases and made every effort to reach them in time.  It’s harder to listen to phone messages, but people can see emails/texts via Apple Watch while in meetings.
2. Explain what happened, just own it like the above CEO did.  Some sort of explanation based in truth is better than nothing or completely disappearing.  The greater the offense, the executive should make the call personally. If it is minor, you can.  If it’s really bad, you should do immediate damage control and then your boss should follow up personally with a call or direct written communication, whichever is appropriate.    
3. Have ready or follow up with 3-5 alternates dates/times immediately, the sooner the new time slots are the better.
4. Go to great lengths to make it up to them, especially if it was a great offense and if you can.  If the meeting was at your office, you go to them, or meet halfway. Perhaps make it a lunch meeting vs a regular meeting.  In the very very worst instances, you might need to buy flowers or a gift.
5. Most importantly, be very mindful of how many times you/your exec has already cancelled or rescheduled very very last minute on a person in the last year or two.  They will most likely remember, and over an extended period of time, people will draw the conclusion that you’re not reliable or just plain flaky. They will no longer want to do business with you, because why should they bother?  
6. Always remember that unless it is a true personal/family/business emergency, most people do what they want to do.  If you don’t hear from them after 1-3 tries, they are avoiding you. Everyone is busy. Everyone has priorities. If people can be on time to what they enjoy, love doing, important things, but are late to everything else, that speaks volumes.  When someone is late to a meeting or appointment, you not only wasted someone’s time for the duration of the commitment, but also everyone else’s time in the meeting as well, not counting all the hours it took to prepare, plan, and commute.  The most valuable resource is time; we can never get it back.
7. One of the busiest, most well-known CEOs I worked for had the uncanny ability to keep track of time while running a meeting, while on the phone, on a vid conference, it didn’t matter.  In my entire time with them, they were MAYBE late 2 times. And those 2 times they knew they were late; they just chose to stay a little longer. They never lost track of time, got sidelined, nor distracted.  It was the first time I had met a CEO like that. They were so reliable with time, I never had to remind them to wrap up a meeting by passing them a note. If this well-respected, well-known, multi-millionaire CEO can keep track of time this well, I find it hard to believe others can’t, especially when executives have assistants and non-CEOs have a cell phone with an alarm function. For the record, they never used the alarm, and obviously I didn't need to remind them how much time they had left in a meeting. So, how did they do it? I think they would very discreetly look at the time on the video conference TV mounted to the wall or their computer monitor. There was no hanging wall clock and they did not even wear a watch. This executive timed everything to a tee, to account for traffic, packing up their belongings, etc. Being punctual starts with respecting everyone's time and showing up a few minutes early.        

Do you have any examples of good and bad ways to cancel?  Or horror stories of how late people have been or no shows? Share them in the comments section!

***New “rule” - when you ask me a question for anonymous advice and I answer it, could you write an anonymous comment so I know you're the one who ASKED and read the post? :)

As always, I usually tweet any new posts I have. And anyone can email me questions and I respond only via this blog, not to your personal address.

I also write over at Jobstr.com under Hollywood Executive Assistant.

http://jobstr.com/threads/show/4303-hollywood-executive-assistant

              

How I Handled A Reduction in Force

I’m old enough to have seen our country go through drastic economic upheaval and downfalls one too many times, but I’m also young enough to appreciate Nikkie De Jager of nikkietutorials.  And in this age of such uncertainty and turmoil, I wanted to talk about what’s worked for me.

Ever since college internships and being a working professional, every single environment I had been in, was enveloped by so many buyouts, mergers, acquisitions, and secret sessions of due diligence.  Granted these were all in one industry, but many of my friends of different fields had similar experiences.  Every. single. company. I’ve been at has been bought out, no longer exists, or changed management.  (None of which I can share the details about, ever.  I will take them to my grave.)  But what I can share with you is how I dealt with it all.   

In the beginning, it was really shocking to deal with, because since you were a child you’ve been led to believe that if you studied hard, applied yourself, and made good decisions, you’d go far and the universe would reward you.  And then life happens and you’re blindsided.  And even though it happens again a few years later, you’re still pretty shocked because you’re thinking, “Again?!  Already?!  Is there no such thing as stability?!”

For me, one of the hardest experiences I had to overcome was being at a company for a few years and it was the best job I ever had (at the time).  My life was working on all cylinders.  I had a boss I loved, great projects, great co-workers, a commute so short people couldn’t believe I just didn’t walk there (hello, stranger danger in LA, at night time, or early morning hours).  I was also in a long term relationship and loved my boyfriend’s family.  I was taking fun classes and learning new hobbies at night once or twice a week.  I had time to volunteer and saw all my friends constantly.  It was peak #goals, for everything.  

And then, one day, there was a re-org.  But it wasn’t even in my department, nor my boss.  It was a lateral department and a lateral management person that were affected.  In the fall out, an admin person had no one to report to.  This admin person was at least twice my age, maybe more, and a few years away from retiring.  And so I was out of a job, just like that. 

That person stayed, reported to my boss, and I was out.

And when it happened, everyone around me was upset more than I was, including my boss.  They couldn’t understand my reaction.  It wasn’t that I wasn’t upset, but I also knew the decision had been made.  The cards were dealt.  This had probably been planned for weeks, if not months.  So the only thing to do was to process and deal with it.  That was my new job, for now. 

It was really important to me to bounce back, not only for my sake, but for my colleagues who were so incensed on my behalf.  Another executive had let me know they had a short-term contract for me in the new year, working with some of the same people.  I really wanted it because it was during an economic bust when millions were out of work and I’d learn a lot of new stuff so it’d improve my resume.  I also knew that I could only get the job if there were no hard feelings.  So, I took some time and had to really process all of my feelings and thoughts about being laid off.  And this was the conclusion I came to; this is what I told my colleagues who asked how I was doing. 

I said, “I hope when I’m ______’s age and close to retirement, that whatever company I’m working for makes the same decision.  I hope they would let me stay.” 

I think one of the best ways to move forward is to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.  You may not agree with them.  You may not like what they did, or what happened.  But what you will gain is a different perspective.  People make decisions that are logical to them.  Very rarely does life happen in a vacuum.  It took me a long time to realize that most people operate to avoid pain and seek pleasure.  We all act in our own self interest, partly because no one will care more about your life than you.  This also means no one else can deal with the consequences of  your life so you’re apt to make decisions that favor you.

When experiencing something painful, I’ve learned to lean into it, to embrace it, and to control my reactions, thoughts, and behaviors.  Empower yourself.  I know that if I don’t deal with it now, it will just come back to haunt me later, with more force.  Is this fun?  No.  Are there days where it sometimes just absolutely sucks, for days on end?  Yes.  You might ask, what do I gain, then?  Closure. 

Process your pain and uneasiness in healthy ways.  Find what works for you.  Is it meditating, sports, exercising, reading, or cleaning?  Do something every day that makes you happy, however small. 

For anyone who is struggling, know that I am thinking of you.  I am sending the warmest of hugs.  I believe one day you will look back on this and your memories may still be bittersweet.  But you will also be proud that you’ve come so far.  That your journey wasn’t for nothing.  And most of all, take comfort in knowing you met some really great people you wouldn’t have met otherwise - shared a lot of laughs, bonded when times were tough, and created a lot of once-in-a-lifetime memories.  Cherish that. Choose to remember those moments.

***New “rule” - when you ask me a question for anonymous advice and I answer it, could you write an anonymous comment so I know you're the one who ASKED and read the post? :)

As always, I usually tweet any new posts I have. And anyone can email me questions and I respond only via this blog, not to your personal address.

I also write over at Jobstr.com under Hollywood Executive Assistant.

http://jobstr.com/threads/show/4303-hollywood-executive-assistant

Better Communication in the Workplace Starts With These 5 Tips

Better Communication in the Workplace Starts With These 5 Tips

Poor communication within organizations is often at the heart of damaged reputations and loss of revenue. From under-resourcing new ventures to product recalls, better internal communication can help businesses avoid common pitfalls and protect their futures and bottom lines.

Learning to communicate better throughout your organisation will help you avoid the damage that can be incurred by ignoring obvious and permeating interaction difficulties. The benefits, aside from avoiding trouble, include increased staff engagement, a more positive workplace culture, and a higher level of efficiency.

Read on to find out how you can reap the rewards of better communication in the workplace.