Penelope Trunk wrote about meditation just recently and how everyone should be doing it because the science is there on how supremely beneficial it is. She goes on to state she used to do it and stopped although she knows how great it can be.
I initially started meditating because I knew about the facts behind the science and during my “lost” period, I figured the answer might be in meditation. I bought the most stripped down, non religious, 8-minutes a day guide on meditation that was hailed by all the major media outlets. Every week was a new set of instructions to build upon.
I meditated faithfully for the first 6-7 days. It was a lot easier than I had imagined it would be. I stopped, however, right before the 2nd week was to start and I was to build upon what I learned that first week. Part of the reason I stopped was that I could see that meditation was not the answer to why I felt so lost. I also stopped (unfairly) because I didn’t see any benefit, but how could I only after a few tries? Most importantly, it’s so hard to stick with a routine or to have discipline when you KNOW something is helpful or beneficial but you have not EXPERIENCED IT YET. I am sure I suffer from some instant gratification just like the rest of my generation.
As much as I know this about myself, science, human psychology, and human behavior, I have actually stuck to very disciplined behaviors that I still continue today. Several years ago I started to cut out caffeine and my sleep improved drastically. Already a night owl, I sleep at a more reasonable hour and I fall asleep within 20 minutes. I experimented not drinking water past a certain time before bed to prevent waking up from in the middle of the night. The few weeks I did that, my sleep was amazing. However, I didn’t continue it. I once cut out rice, pasta, and bread for 3 months and noticed the lack of sluggish feeling afterward. I get these glimpses of feeling extraordinary and experience the payoff, but sometimes it’s not worth the tradeoff. I still continue avoiding many items others consume because I see it’s worth the extra effort.
I’m contemplating picking up meditation again. My current goal is to find a way to become even more compassionate, grateful, forgiving, accepting, realistic, and joyful about my life. Like Penelope said, while I am no longer lost, feel strong, and have such inner peace, it’s the time to strengthen myself mentally and emotionally so I am much more resilient when something strikes again. A daily ritual is what I need and I’m still experimenting what I want to do. I’m going to start with Monday nights being for “reflection time.” It will be a way for me to carve out time to just sit and think, and then create blueprints for how I want to live out my life in the long-run. Any start is always good.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Answering Reader Mail: Confidential Job Hunts, Raises, Promotions & Better Projects
This is my first admin job supporting a mid-level executive. I love working in admin, but I have been stuck in this dead end job for more than a few years now without a raise. I also haven’t been growing or learning anything new since Day 1 because my boss won’t give me projects. We discussed it at length and I “have” my boss’ support. However, even after taking many classes on the various programs I still haven’t gotten any new tasks. I would like to get better assignments, promoted, or get a raise before a few more years go by. How do I get a recommendation letter from my boss for a new job hunt without raising suspicion or improve my situation without my boss’ help? Thank you so much.
Dear Reader,
Thank you so much for your questions. I hope I can be of some help to you.
First, congratulations on such a pro-active attitude. It’s such a shame that there aren’t more managers who are good mentors that help each individual grow and learn more in their roles. Granted, I understand that many managers are busy and it’s faster for them to do certain projects. Yet it is a waste of a happy, willing student much like yourself.
One of the best ways to get a raise is to try to ask for more responsibility and increase your skills and talents much like you did. Short of that, looking for a new job elsewhere is your second best bet. While you have a job, recruiters are much happier to steal you away to their company instead. You also have more negotiating leverage for a better salary and projects. Progressive work experience is always a smart goal.
Another suggestion to get more experience on really good projects is to volunteer during your free time. There are many admin or office type positions. Perhaps you will be able to put together documents, presentations, grants, and portfolios using Excel, Powerpoint, Word and any other databases or programs you have taken classes for. In this manner, when you go into job interviews you can bring all the sales presentations or documents you put together into a portfolio to showcase your work. A good resource for volunteering opportunities is volunteermatch.org Volunteering is also a great opportunity to network with new people who are in your field or have the same interests and skill sets as you do. I got a lot of my experience volunteering, working for free, or doing internships. I can not stress volunteering enough to spruce up your resume for when are you ready to leave your current company.
Instead of trying to rely on only your boss for a recommendation letter, keep in mind the value of the 360 view. Recommendations can come from other executives that you work with, people on the same level as you, people below you, vendors, clients and anyone that worked with you. The point is to have many different people, in different roles, in different levels to vouch for your work ethic, talents, skills, and character. Perhaps you’ve assisted visiting executives or consultants, helped out other assistants on a team project, or have a long-standing business relationship with a vendor, catering manager, or florist for all the office luncheons, birthday parties, or special events. In this manner, you can get really good recommendations from people who know you well in a team environment.
I suggest starting with LinkedIn to get recommendations along with traditional letters. Your LinkedIn profile can be public, there is an option to also print out any recommendations people write, and the glowing remarks can be as short as 2-3 sentences or much longer. Also remember to ask a few key people for permission to list them as a reference on job applications for more in-depth references. HR will usually call 2-3 people for a quick phone chat.
The best way to ask people for LinkedIn recommendations is shortly after any major special project or whenever they compliment you. Email them saying you’d love 2-3 sentences if they feel comfortable commenting on how you did x, y, z on the __________ project. This helps refresh their memory and you’ve provided most of the details that they only have to write their glowing remarks. Also be sure to ask all and as many people as you can. People are busy and you’ll find that only a small percentage of those you ask even have LinkedIn or will actually feel comfortable writing something.
Asking for recommendations is something you should be doing all-year round, just like networking. And constantly learning new skills and gaining a wide range of knowledge is vital to getting to the next step. You want to have your ducks in a row before you get laid off or want to find a better job. Happy job hunting and keep me posted!
Dear Reader,
Thank you so much for your questions. I hope I can be of some help to you.
First, congratulations on such a pro-active attitude. It’s such a shame that there aren’t more managers who are good mentors that help each individual grow and learn more in their roles. Granted, I understand that many managers are busy and it’s faster for them to do certain projects. Yet it is a waste of a happy, willing student much like yourself.
One of the best ways to get a raise is to try to ask for more responsibility and increase your skills and talents much like you did. Short of that, looking for a new job elsewhere is your second best bet. While you have a job, recruiters are much happier to steal you away to their company instead. You also have more negotiating leverage for a better salary and projects. Progressive work experience is always a smart goal.
Another suggestion to get more experience on really good projects is to volunteer during your free time. There are many admin or office type positions. Perhaps you will be able to put together documents, presentations, grants, and portfolios using Excel, Powerpoint, Word and any other databases or programs you have taken classes for. In this manner, when you go into job interviews you can bring all the sales presentations or documents you put together into a portfolio to showcase your work. A good resource for volunteering opportunities is volunteermatch.org Volunteering is also a great opportunity to network with new people who are in your field or have the same interests and skill sets as you do. I got a lot of my experience volunteering, working for free, or doing internships. I can not stress volunteering enough to spruce up your resume for when are you ready to leave your current company.
Instead of trying to rely on only your boss for a recommendation letter, keep in mind the value of the 360 view. Recommendations can come from other executives that you work with, people on the same level as you, people below you, vendors, clients and anyone that worked with you. The point is to have many different people, in different roles, in different levels to vouch for your work ethic, talents, skills, and character. Perhaps you’ve assisted visiting executives or consultants, helped out other assistants on a team project, or have a long-standing business relationship with a vendor, catering manager, or florist for all the office luncheons, birthday parties, or special events. In this manner, you can get really good recommendations from people who know you well in a team environment.
I suggest starting with LinkedIn to get recommendations along with traditional letters. Your LinkedIn profile can be public, there is an option to also print out any recommendations people write, and the glowing remarks can be as short as 2-3 sentences or much longer. Also remember to ask a few key people for permission to list them as a reference on job applications for more in-depth references. HR will usually call 2-3 people for a quick phone chat.
The best way to ask people for LinkedIn recommendations is shortly after any major special project or whenever they compliment you. Email them saying you’d love 2-3 sentences if they feel comfortable commenting on how you did x, y, z on the __________ project. This helps refresh their memory and you’ve provided most of the details that they only have to write their glowing remarks. Also be sure to ask all and as many people as you can. People are busy and you’ll find that only a small percentage of those you ask even have LinkedIn or will actually feel comfortable writing something.
Asking for recommendations is something you should be doing all-year round, just like networking. And constantly learning new skills and gaining a wide range of knowledge is vital to getting to the next step. You want to have your ducks in a row before you get laid off or want to find a better job. Happy job hunting and keep me posted!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Now What?! Reflections on Professional Milestones & Aging
I’ve always known age to be a critical factor in succeeding, working, and being in showbiz - even before I was an adult. I purposely started early and I hope I logged my 10, 000 hours like Malcolm Gladwell said in Outliers. Now that I’m a “real” adult, how I define success, how my thinking has shaped who I am, and all the changes I went through are starting to become apparent. This is what they must mean by enjoying the aging process! :) I’m really starting to enjoy adulthood by seeing how far I’ve come and what I will continue to learn about myself.
I started working at age 12 babysitting. At 14, I was a waitress where people thought I was 18. At 16, I was a journalist and on local television as on-air talent and doing voice over work and teaching ESL to scientists, doctors, and children. My bosses and clients always marveled at how young I was, eager to learn, able to be around people at least twice my age. When I was in college, people thought I was a decade older based on my demeanor. By the time I hit Hollywood, being so young was obviously in my favor. One look at me and my resume and you could tell I was a go-getter, hungry, and would hustle tempered with enough work experience to get caught up to speed rather quickly. All my hard work at part-time jobs, internships, and self-awareness paid off.
I worked for CEOs, well-known companies, and had a diverse overview of showbiz ranging from radio, print, television, film, marketing, and event planning. It felt good to be the youngest person in the office. Although I was very junior, I took pride in the fact that I was there, allowed to observe, soak in the daily grind of well-respected executives, and assist them. In showbiz where anyone would kill for your job and even do it for free, I knew how extremely lucky I was to “just be an assistant” and have down-to-earth supervisors. I loved it and still do. At that point in my life, a great majority of my success and identity was based on being the youngest person. I got my foot in the door early. I was given access. I would experience things most people never would. However, what happens when you are no longer the youngest person?
At some point, you realize the next young batch of go-getters are right behind you. I noticed this when other younger, newer assistants would come to me with questions and I began mentoring them. It was great to help them and to know that I was no longer the newbie assistant with the worst paycheck. But of course, helping others and money, isn’t a healthy lifelong marker for being happy and being fulfilled. And I certainly wasn’t unhappy or unfulfilled. Constant change, reinvention, and growth are the key to sustained happiness and emotional well-being. It’s just that now that I’m older, I can see myself back then with fresh eyes and observe my way of thinking a little more objectively.
From being the youngest to earning a good paycheck and being able to help others, my sense of accomplishment then came from being headhunted by Oprah, Apple, major cities across the nation, and having recruiters checking in with me periodically. When people seek you out to fill a position, you know you are on the right track. However, life and success not reflected upon wisely can just become a non-stop treadmill of external validations and false happiness, which brings me to the present. How will I gauge success and happiness for the next 5-10 years when youth, good money, stability, and progressive work experience are under my belt?
I have always lived my life mindfully and have tried to live it with balance. In the beginning, I wanted phenomenal work experience and to convey my great work ethic to have a strong foundation for my career. I became a workaholic. I was an independent adult. Then I wanted stability and comfort. Once I got that I sought work/life balance. Now that I have what I’ve worked toward all these years, I contemplate what I want my life to be in this phase. In some ways, I’m having to restructure my life from scratch and reassess all my values to fine-tune old ones. I’m sure it’s obvious why I’m at this point in my life; I just had a birthday.
As I celebrated, friends and co-workers joked I will forever be 20. Odd that they chose 20, not 21. I still get mistaken for being 16 and have for the past few years. I’m short, I have a baby face, and I stay out of the sun. I guess I look very youthful, not even I’m-21-I-can-buy-alcohol-youthful, but slightly younger. The cashier at Fresh & Easy said I’d be carded forever.
Except now that I’m no longer 20 and find myself in the adult world among peers, I worry the youthful look will work against me. I’m researching volunteer opportunities to help adults re-write their resumes or teach teens technology. I’m afraid my babyface will offend older adults and have them question my skills. I’m afraid the teenagers will not take me seriously either because I will look their age or not command their respect. And not knowing what the “best” age is in showbiz, Los Angeles, and in life, I’ve now taken measures not to date myself to avoid the question of how old I am completely. I removed the year I graduated from my resume and LinkedIn. I don’t correct people if they assume I might be a different age. I’m mute on the whole subject.
So I will have to ponder a little longer how I will re-define success, happiness, balance, and being a well-rounded individual. I will have to re-organize my priorities, social life, and my precious hours of free time. I will have to have a better understanding of myself and my goals. And I will have to strike the balance between using my babyface to its best advantage while fully utilizing all the self-awareness and life lessons I have today. It is a time for re-birth. How interesting and dare I say, fun, it will be! ;)
I started working at age 12 babysitting. At 14, I was a waitress where people thought I was 18. At 16, I was a journalist and on local television as on-air talent and doing voice over work and teaching ESL to scientists, doctors, and children. My bosses and clients always marveled at how young I was, eager to learn, able to be around people at least twice my age. When I was in college, people thought I was a decade older based on my demeanor. By the time I hit Hollywood, being so young was obviously in my favor. One look at me and my resume and you could tell I was a go-getter, hungry, and would hustle tempered with enough work experience to get caught up to speed rather quickly. All my hard work at part-time jobs, internships, and self-awareness paid off.
I worked for CEOs, well-known companies, and had a diverse overview of showbiz ranging from radio, print, television, film, marketing, and event planning. It felt good to be the youngest person in the office. Although I was very junior, I took pride in the fact that I was there, allowed to observe, soak in the daily grind of well-respected executives, and assist them. In showbiz where anyone would kill for your job and even do it for free, I knew how extremely lucky I was to “just be an assistant” and have down-to-earth supervisors. I loved it and still do. At that point in my life, a great majority of my success and identity was based on being the youngest person. I got my foot in the door early. I was given access. I would experience things most people never would. However, what happens when you are no longer the youngest person?
At some point, you realize the next young batch of go-getters are right behind you. I noticed this when other younger, newer assistants would come to me with questions and I began mentoring them. It was great to help them and to know that I was no longer the newbie assistant with the worst paycheck. But of course, helping others and money, isn’t a healthy lifelong marker for being happy and being fulfilled. And I certainly wasn’t unhappy or unfulfilled. Constant change, reinvention, and growth are the key to sustained happiness and emotional well-being. It’s just that now that I’m older, I can see myself back then with fresh eyes and observe my way of thinking a little more objectively.
From being the youngest to earning a good paycheck and being able to help others, my sense of accomplishment then came from being headhunted by Oprah, Apple, major cities across the nation, and having recruiters checking in with me periodically. When people seek you out to fill a position, you know you are on the right track. However, life and success not reflected upon wisely can just become a non-stop treadmill of external validations and false happiness, which brings me to the present. How will I gauge success and happiness for the next 5-10 years when youth, good money, stability, and progressive work experience are under my belt?
I have always lived my life mindfully and have tried to live it with balance. In the beginning, I wanted phenomenal work experience and to convey my great work ethic to have a strong foundation for my career. I became a workaholic. I was an independent adult. Then I wanted stability and comfort. Once I got that I sought work/life balance. Now that I have what I’ve worked toward all these years, I contemplate what I want my life to be in this phase. In some ways, I’m having to restructure my life from scratch and reassess all my values to fine-tune old ones. I’m sure it’s obvious why I’m at this point in my life; I just had a birthday.
As I celebrated, friends and co-workers joked I will forever be 20. Odd that they chose 20, not 21. I still get mistaken for being 16 and have for the past few years. I’m short, I have a baby face, and I stay out of the sun. I guess I look very youthful, not even I’m-21-I-can-buy-alcohol-youthful, but slightly younger. The cashier at Fresh & Easy said I’d be carded forever.
Except now that I’m no longer 20 and find myself in the adult world among peers, I worry the youthful look will work against me. I’m researching volunteer opportunities to help adults re-write their resumes or teach teens technology. I’m afraid my babyface will offend older adults and have them question my skills. I’m afraid the teenagers will not take me seriously either because I will look their age or not command their respect. And not knowing what the “best” age is in showbiz, Los Angeles, and in life, I’ve now taken measures not to date myself to avoid the question of how old I am completely. I removed the year I graduated from my resume and LinkedIn. I don’t correct people if they assume I might be a different age. I’m mute on the whole subject.
So I will have to ponder a little longer how I will re-define success, happiness, balance, and being a well-rounded individual. I will have to re-organize my priorities, social life, and my precious hours of free time. I will have to have a better understanding of myself and my goals. And I will have to strike the balance between using my babyface to its best advantage while fully utilizing all the self-awareness and life lessons I have today. It is a time for re-birth. How interesting and dare I say, fun, it will be! ;)
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
7 Tips for Being Lost
It’s been a couple weeks now of feeling lost. My plan to accept I didn’t have the answer only worked for awhile. At some point, the mild annoyance started to creep back into my life. To cope with it, I looked outside myself, half knowing the answer would not be in the new hobbies I tried, to bring more joy into my life, nor the more in-depth conversations I would have with my dear friends for comfort. However, the solace of knowing I was fairing pretty well, was not alone, and had new ideas to self-reflect upon at least made me feel as I was not thrashing around aimlessly. I was trying, even if I wasn’t succeeding. The realization that this would not be the last time of feeling lost began to dawn upon me. That every few years, I would wonder and question what my life was about. The journey is still just beginning. Even though the answer will most often not be given to me directly, each successive step leads me to the next one, which will eventually lead me to my answer. And it’s in taking the first ‘wrong’ step that will lead me to the next ‘wrong’ step that will eventually get me closer to where I need to be. So if you really think about it, none of them are wrong steps at all. Each step is a tiny clue or hint that leads and informs the next action. This is what helped me get out of being lost.
1. Mourn whatever it is you are sad, angry, disappointed, or confused about.
2. Once you mourn that, see if you still feel sad, angry, disappointed, or confused. If you are still feeling unsettled were you mourning and working through the right thing or do you have many things to address in succession?
3. Keep repeating the cycle of mourning different things you need to until you get to the point where you are either tired of feeling like crap or you feel strong enough to act and solve your problem.
4. Take baby steps to seek out your answer. You can start by trying new hobbies, socialize with old and new friends, truly relishing what you know for sure you like and enjoy. Write out your thoughts. Sit and think, self reflect, and work through your thoughts for 15 min or an hour a day.
5. Watch Steve Jobs’ or Oprah Winfrey’s commencement speeches. Watch Randy Pausch’s the Last Lecture and read the book. Watch Team Hoyt’s video set to the song I Can Only Imagine. Watch the PBS documentary This Emotional Life by Daniel Gilbert. Watch movies.
6. Start reading books that will answer the questions you have or help you feel validated and less alone in the situation you are in. One of the best books I just discovered is M. Scott Peck’s THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED. These may also help you: Ambiguous Loss by Pauline Boss, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie, It’s Not About the Bike by Lance Armstrong, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, Seeking Peace by Mary Pipher, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and Falling Apart in One Piece by Stacy Morrison.
7. Once you have more clarity and can think straight, have the courage to face your fears and solve your problems while getting enough sleep and exercise and not self-medicating. Almost anything can become a self-medicating defense mechanism - overeating, drinking, drugs, shopping, gambling, avoidance, or denial. As long as you are coping and functioning in your daily life for the most part, that may be all you can do that day. And that’s okay. :)
1. Mourn whatever it is you are sad, angry, disappointed, or confused about.
2. Once you mourn that, see if you still feel sad, angry, disappointed, or confused. If you are still feeling unsettled were you mourning and working through the right thing or do you have many things to address in succession?
3. Keep repeating the cycle of mourning different things you need to until you get to the point where you are either tired of feeling like crap or you feel strong enough to act and solve your problem.
4. Take baby steps to seek out your answer. You can start by trying new hobbies, socialize with old and new friends, truly relishing what you know for sure you like and enjoy. Write out your thoughts. Sit and think, self reflect, and work through your thoughts for 15 min or an hour a day.
5. Watch Steve Jobs’ or Oprah Winfrey’s commencement speeches. Watch Randy Pausch’s the Last Lecture and read the book. Watch Team Hoyt’s video set to the song I Can Only Imagine. Watch the PBS documentary This Emotional Life by Daniel Gilbert. Watch movies.
6. Start reading books that will answer the questions you have or help you feel validated and less alone in the situation you are in. One of the best books I just discovered is M. Scott Peck’s THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED. These may also help you: Ambiguous Loss by Pauline Boss, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie, It’s Not About the Bike by Lance Armstrong, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, Seeking Peace by Mary Pipher, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and Falling Apart in One Piece by Stacy Morrison.
7. Once you have more clarity and can think straight, have the courage to face your fears and solve your problems while getting enough sleep and exercise and not self-medicating. Almost anything can become a self-medicating defense mechanism - overeating, drinking, drugs, shopping, gambling, avoidance, or denial. As long as you are coping and functioning in your daily life for the most part, that may be all you can do that day. And that’s okay. :)
Monday, October 11, 2010
10 Tips to be a Better Executive Assistant - Part 2
Here are 10 random tips I’ve culled over the years on how to be a better assistant. This is part 2.
1. If your boss’ door is open, listen in so you can anticipate their needs.
As an assistant, you normally sit right outside your boss’ office and should be able to hear their conversations. I always usually half listen in as I’m working. When I do listen in, I hear my boss and his colleague wonder when Comic Con is or when one accidentally spills a bottle of water. Then, I’m able to bring in the information they need on a piece of paper without interrupting their meeting or a roll of paper towels and a new bottle without being asked. Being a good assistant is about knowing what they might ask for next and saving them that step of actually asking you. If their meeting is confidential, your boss will close their door so don’t worry. And whenever you listen in, the only time you should react or show you are listening is, is when it is work related and they need help. This means, even if you hear them have small talk in the beginning and one of them cracks a funny joke, you should not be laughing out loud a long with with them! Just laugh to yourself!
2. Run or walk fast wherever you go.
Time is always of the utmost importance and hustling is one of the best traits an assistant can have. I always make it a point to either actually run or walk fast whenever I am in the office. If my boss summons me to his office I actually run the 7 feet to his desk. When the phone rings and I have to find my boss, I run to locate him. Around the office, a colleague always jokes with me that whenever she runs, she calls it “I’m doing the Kiyomi.” The amount of time you save by actually speed walking or running to get something is enormous. It also states you take your job seriously and understand that every task is of the utmost importance and has urgency.
3. If you want to complain, offer a suggestion at the same time, better yet 3 suggestions.
I think most workers view their supervisors as psuedo-parents since they assign you work, give feedback, and are authority figures. Our entire lives were spent being shaped and guided by those who oversee us. First it was our parents, then our teachers, and then our college professors. It’s how we operated for the first 20+ years of our lives so it is understandable that we might see our bosses in this way. However, at work, you are there to work. And your boss has a lot on his plate answering to his boss, board members, or clients. He barely has enough time and attention span for his own job and overseeing his department/colleagues that when you present him with a problem that he probably didn’t even know existed, he has even less of a clue how to fix or solve it than you do, not to mention the time. This is why I advise that if you have a complaint or a problem you should also have 3 good suggestions. More often than not, your boss’ role in the company is as a leader, visionary, and strategist, not so much one who actually carries out the work. He will most often oversee, guide, and a grant approval. This is why you offering suggestions helps get the ball rolling toward actually implementing a solution.
4. Name-drop effectively on behalf of your boss.
Sometimes you will be in a situation where you need to name-drop on behalf of your boss. Say, if you need to make a dinner reservation at the hottest spot in town. It works to be kind instead being snobby about it. I name drop as a last resort. When I call a restaurant, I ask for a reservation first and if they say they are too packed, I respond in an almost embarrassed tone and say the following.
“Oh... I’m actually calling on behalf of my boss, Mr X. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with him, he’s the CEO of ________. He really loves your restaurant and wanted to have a dinner meeting there.”
That usually seems to work. If not, at least you tried.
5. Will this be complimentary?
When you work for a well-known executive, you will be told about certain products or services. If you know the offer is legitimate, sometimes you wonder if they are trying to sell your boss something or if they are giving it for free. To ask without sounding cheap, the key phrase is, “Is this complimentary?” Keep in mind though, unless you know the person or company very well, everything comes at price. The only time I use this phrase is if my boss bought something, the product was faulty, and the business offers to right a wrong. I might ask if the return shipping will be complimentary/refunded.
6. Label phone extensions “Lines 1, 2, 3, 4”
If your boss’ phone has multiple phone lines, mark them numerically instead of their separate extensions. When the phones are ringing off the hook and 2 are on hold, you’re on one line, and the other one on hold is for your boss, it’s much easier to say, “Grab line 1.” I’ve worked in other offices and we had to say “the top line” or “the bottom one” or “the 2nd to the last one” and it’s just too many words to say.
7. Lend books or movies out or share whatever hobbies to foster good relations.
I’m a big fan of reading and movies so I always like to lend my books or DVDs to executives and other assistants. I even knew one co-worker who would share his Neftlix DVDs with people at work! After he watched it, he would give it to someone else to watch and made sure they sent it back in afterward. Wow!
8. You have a great vendor when they bend to accommodate you.
Often as an assistant, you have to use outside companies for flowers, birthday cakes or lunches. The best vendors are the ones that will go the extra step by offering to go out and buy whatever they don’t normally have in stock or who will go the extra mile. Reward them by constantly using them. It’s very hard to find good vendors. I’ve been able to have restaurants deliver to us when they normally wouldn’t or have them actually go out and buy special china and platters for a big lunch knowing they could always use it again with us or another client. They will also start doing what good businesses do, not charging us for another set up fee or replacing free of charge items that through no fault of theirs or ours were damaged. Here’s a small, but powerful example. We were having a catered lunch with dessert. Unexpectedly the weather turned sunny and bright around lunch time. In the short 15-20 minute ride over the chocolate desserts melted all over the other desserts on the big platter. Upon arrival, the driver and I discovered this when the food was being unloaded. The driver rushed back and brought a new dessert plate and then said ALL of our desserts would be free because of the small mishap. This was no one’s fault and the dessert wasn’t cheap. But they were willing to eat the cost. They wanted to let us know they valued our business and would go the extra mile to keep us happy. Even when things weren’t their fault they would fix it. You’ll find that a mutually-beneficial relationship starts to develop. I went to eat at that same restaurant on my day off one day and brought a friend. Although it was packed they recognized me and sat me right away! Anytime I find a new restaurant I like, I make it a point to bring all of my friends there too.
9. If you work at a big company, are new, or work for someone high profile, people you've never met will already know your face and name somehow.
One of the oddest things to me was that very often at work, people I never met always greeted me by name and would strike up conversations with me. At first I thought it was someone I had spoken on the phone with, but never saw face to face. However, the longer I worked there, I realized it wasn’t that. Almost anywhere I worked, people would know me because I was in such a visible office or that I sat in a very visible area. I had no idea everyone became familiar to me without my knowledge. It still continues to this day where the new person is not so new anymore, but they are new to me and forget to introduce themselves and they just carry on as if we are best friends so I feel awkward saying, “I don’t know your name!” LOL At one event, someone actually claimed we knew each other and had previously met. I knew for a fact that was not true because when they said when we had met, I actually hadn’t even been working there yet! I didn’t disagree, but I did realize that was more of a case where they insisted they knew me because they thought it would beneficial to them. Although there was nothing I could actually help them with.
10. Always have a suit jacket on hand or an extra change of work clothes.
I worked in a really casual office where everyone wore jeans, t-shirts and flip flops. One day my boss forgot something and asked me to drop off paperwork at her important business seminar. I knew everyone would be dressed up and luckily, I had my handy black suit jacket. Once I threw that on over my t-shirts, jeans, and black sneakers, I actually looked more business casual. Or if you were to spill something on yourself, you can’t work for a CEO and present yourself in that manner. So this where extra clothes come in handy.
1. If your boss’ door is open, listen in so you can anticipate their needs.
As an assistant, you normally sit right outside your boss’ office and should be able to hear their conversations. I always usually half listen in as I’m working. When I do listen in, I hear my boss and his colleague wonder when Comic Con is or when one accidentally spills a bottle of water. Then, I’m able to bring in the information they need on a piece of paper without interrupting their meeting or a roll of paper towels and a new bottle without being asked. Being a good assistant is about knowing what they might ask for next and saving them that step of actually asking you. If their meeting is confidential, your boss will close their door so don’t worry. And whenever you listen in, the only time you should react or show you are listening is, is when it is work related and they need help. This means, even if you hear them have small talk in the beginning and one of them cracks a funny joke, you should not be laughing out loud a long with with them! Just laugh to yourself!
2. Run or walk fast wherever you go.
Time is always of the utmost importance and hustling is one of the best traits an assistant can have. I always make it a point to either actually run or walk fast whenever I am in the office. If my boss summons me to his office I actually run the 7 feet to his desk. When the phone rings and I have to find my boss, I run to locate him. Around the office, a colleague always jokes with me that whenever she runs, she calls it “I’m doing the Kiyomi.” The amount of time you save by actually speed walking or running to get something is enormous. It also states you take your job seriously and understand that every task is of the utmost importance and has urgency.
3. If you want to complain, offer a suggestion at the same time, better yet 3 suggestions.
I think most workers view their supervisors as psuedo-parents since they assign you work, give feedback, and are authority figures. Our entire lives were spent being shaped and guided by those who oversee us. First it was our parents, then our teachers, and then our college professors. It’s how we operated for the first 20+ years of our lives so it is understandable that we might see our bosses in this way. However, at work, you are there to work. And your boss has a lot on his plate answering to his boss, board members, or clients. He barely has enough time and attention span for his own job and overseeing his department/colleagues that when you present him with a problem that he probably didn’t even know existed, he has even less of a clue how to fix or solve it than you do, not to mention the time. This is why I advise that if you have a complaint or a problem you should also have 3 good suggestions. More often than not, your boss’ role in the company is as a leader, visionary, and strategist, not so much one who actually carries out the work. He will most often oversee, guide, and a grant approval. This is why you offering suggestions helps get the ball rolling toward actually implementing a solution.
4. Name-drop effectively on behalf of your boss.
Sometimes you will be in a situation where you need to name-drop on behalf of your boss. Say, if you need to make a dinner reservation at the hottest spot in town. It works to be kind instead being snobby about it. I name drop as a last resort. When I call a restaurant, I ask for a reservation first and if they say they are too packed, I respond in an almost embarrassed tone and say the following.
“Oh... I’m actually calling on behalf of my boss, Mr X. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with him, he’s the CEO of ________. He really loves your restaurant and wanted to have a dinner meeting there.”
That usually seems to work. If not, at least you tried.
5. Will this be complimentary?
When you work for a well-known executive, you will be told about certain products or services. If you know the offer is legitimate, sometimes you wonder if they are trying to sell your boss something or if they are giving it for free. To ask without sounding cheap, the key phrase is, “Is this complimentary?” Keep in mind though, unless you know the person or company very well, everything comes at price. The only time I use this phrase is if my boss bought something, the product was faulty, and the business offers to right a wrong. I might ask if the return shipping will be complimentary/refunded.
6. Label phone extensions “Lines 1, 2, 3, 4”
If your boss’ phone has multiple phone lines, mark them numerically instead of their separate extensions. When the phones are ringing off the hook and 2 are on hold, you’re on one line, and the other one on hold is for your boss, it’s much easier to say, “Grab line 1.” I’ve worked in other offices and we had to say “the top line” or “the bottom one” or “the 2nd to the last one” and it’s just too many words to say.
7. Lend books or movies out or share whatever hobbies to foster good relations.
I’m a big fan of reading and movies so I always like to lend my books or DVDs to executives and other assistants. I even knew one co-worker who would share his Neftlix DVDs with people at work! After he watched it, he would give it to someone else to watch and made sure they sent it back in afterward. Wow!
8. You have a great vendor when they bend to accommodate you.
Often as an assistant, you have to use outside companies for flowers, birthday cakes or lunches. The best vendors are the ones that will go the extra step by offering to go out and buy whatever they don’t normally have in stock or who will go the extra mile. Reward them by constantly using them. It’s very hard to find good vendors. I’ve been able to have restaurants deliver to us when they normally wouldn’t or have them actually go out and buy special china and platters for a big lunch knowing they could always use it again with us or another client. They will also start doing what good businesses do, not charging us for another set up fee or replacing free of charge items that through no fault of theirs or ours were damaged. Here’s a small, but powerful example. We were having a catered lunch with dessert. Unexpectedly the weather turned sunny and bright around lunch time. In the short 15-20 minute ride over the chocolate desserts melted all over the other desserts on the big platter. Upon arrival, the driver and I discovered this when the food was being unloaded. The driver rushed back and brought a new dessert plate and then said ALL of our desserts would be free because of the small mishap. This was no one’s fault and the dessert wasn’t cheap. But they were willing to eat the cost. They wanted to let us know they valued our business and would go the extra mile to keep us happy. Even when things weren’t their fault they would fix it. You’ll find that a mutually-beneficial relationship starts to develop. I went to eat at that same restaurant on my day off one day and brought a friend. Although it was packed they recognized me and sat me right away! Anytime I find a new restaurant I like, I make it a point to bring all of my friends there too.
9. If you work at a big company, are new, or work for someone high profile, people you've never met will already know your face and name somehow.
One of the oddest things to me was that very often at work, people I never met always greeted me by name and would strike up conversations with me. At first I thought it was someone I had spoken on the phone with, but never saw face to face. However, the longer I worked there, I realized it wasn’t that. Almost anywhere I worked, people would know me because I was in such a visible office or that I sat in a very visible area. I had no idea everyone became familiar to me without my knowledge. It still continues to this day where the new person is not so new anymore, but they are new to me and forget to introduce themselves and they just carry on as if we are best friends so I feel awkward saying, “I don’t know your name!” LOL At one event, someone actually claimed we knew each other and had previously met. I knew for a fact that was not true because when they said when we had met, I actually hadn’t even been working there yet! I didn’t disagree, but I did realize that was more of a case where they insisted they knew me because they thought it would beneficial to them. Although there was nothing I could actually help them with.
10. Always have a suit jacket on hand or an extra change of work clothes.
I worked in a really casual office where everyone wore jeans, t-shirts and flip flops. One day my boss forgot something and asked me to drop off paperwork at her important business seminar. I knew everyone would be dressed up and luckily, I had my handy black suit jacket. Once I threw that on over my t-shirts, jeans, and black sneakers, I actually looked more business casual. Or if you were to spill something on yourself, you can’t work for a CEO and present yourself in that manner. So this where extra clothes come in handy.
Monday, September 27, 2010
10 Tips to be a Better Executive Assistant - Part 1
Here are 10 random tips I’ve culled over the years on how to be a better assistant. This is part 1.
1. Yes, No Boxes
Since I’ve worked for so many Fortune 500 CEO’s, I’ve actually been coincidentally groomed the same way in all the offices.
Whenever my boss would receive snail mail or an invitation, we had a pile or folder that either needed his signatures or we needed an answer from him. This is where the Yes, No Boxes come in handy.
For example, if my boss was invited to a movie premiere, I would take a post-it note and write:
You are free this evening. Would you like to attend?
____ Yes ____ No
This way it would take my boss 2 seconds to mark his decision. Easy. Sometimes the CEO would add a note underneath like, “See if I can also bring my children.” We would ask for +3 guests instead of just +1.
2. Only give a max of 3 choices.
This is probably pretty self explanatory. Whenever presenting any options, give no more than 3 choices. Presenting too many options just overwhelms and confuses people and makes them indecisive. It would be good to make the choices inexpensive, medium, or very expensive or whatever spread of variety is possible. If asked for restaurants, choose one seafood/sushi, one steak, and one general/American cuisine.
3. Money/gifts contributions etiquette
When it comes to donating money to causes, gifts, or anything else where a lot of people are also pitching in, don’t be shy to ask how much everyone else is contributing. The person to ask would be the other assistants or discreetly ask the person collecting the money. The goal is to solicit enough information so your boss or CEO either contributes the same amount as everyone on his level or slightly more, whatever is appropriate. The goal is to make sure he doesn’t contribute less than everyone else.
4. Answer the phone so the caller only needs to say yes or no.
Whenever I answer the phone and I know who it is or know it’s not a cold call, I try to make it easiest on the caller. Instead of this conversation happening:
Me: ______’s office.
Caller: It’s Jim. Is _________ there?
I say this:
Me: ________’s office. Hey Jim. Let me see if I can find ________. Hold on.
5. Bake cookies, cupcakes, or any homemade gift during the holidays if you can’t afford at $10-$15 gift card from iTunes, Starbucks, or Jamba Juice.
In the past, one of my executives would burn a CD of holiday music and gave those out.
6. Print out your boss’ daily schedule and put in by your desk.
This helps immensely so your boss doesn’t have to check their schedule via their smartphone or walk back to their desk. It also helps when discussing with colleagues when they should stop by again to see your boss. If you’re like me, you always have about 10 different screens open on your computer which makes it a hassle to find the right one showing the calendar and then resuming your task.
7. Meet other assistants from other companies that you work with over lunch or coffee.
Every now and then, if I find myself working a lot with a particular assistant, I ask them if they’d be open to meeting for lunch. Sometimes I go to their office or they come to mine. It’s always nice to get to know them as people and it makes for a better working relationship since you can understand their role, their boss, and how they as clients fit into the bigger picture.
8. If you need to interrupt your boss in an important meeting or when they are on the phone, pass them a note.
In all the offices I’ve worked at, passing a Post-it note with large legible writing is the best way to get your boss information or to ask a question. The reason why writing it down is better is for confidentiality reasons and to not interrupt the meeting/call by talking. You will find that most often, the meeting will continue on around you or the meeting will stall only for 5 secs.
Before you enter the room, knock, then walk straight to your boss. Show them the note and wait for them to nod or shake their head, say they’ll call back, answer yes or no, or follow you out of the office. Then exit as quietly as you entered.
9. Answer every email/request right away even if only to say you got it and keep you posted on answer.
It’s helpful to give them an ETA on your answer and encourage them to check back with you frequently if they so desire.
10. When someone is asking for your help or has a request, write down everything they say and repeat back the information.
1. Yes, No Boxes
Since I’ve worked for so many Fortune 500 CEO’s, I’ve actually been coincidentally groomed the same way in all the offices.
Whenever my boss would receive snail mail or an invitation, we had a pile or folder that either needed his signatures or we needed an answer from him. This is where the Yes, No Boxes come in handy.
For example, if my boss was invited to a movie premiere, I would take a post-it note and write:
You are free this evening. Would you like to attend?
____ Yes ____ No
This way it would take my boss 2 seconds to mark his decision. Easy. Sometimes the CEO would add a note underneath like, “See if I can also bring my children.” We would ask for +3 guests instead of just +1.
2. Only give a max of 3 choices.
This is probably pretty self explanatory. Whenever presenting any options, give no more than 3 choices. Presenting too many options just overwhelms and confuses people and makes them indecisive. It would be good to make the choices inexpensive, medium, or very expensive or whatever spread of variety is possible. If asked for restaurants, choose one seafood/sushi, one steak, and one general/American cuisine.
3. Money/gifts contributions etiquette
When it comes to donating money to causes, gifts, or anything else where a lot of people are also pitching in, don’t be shy to ask how much everyone else is contributing. The person to ask would be the other assistants or discreetly ask the person collecting the money. The goal is to solicit enough information so your boss or CEO either contributes the same amount as everyone on his level or slightly more, whatever is appropriate. The goal is to make sure he doesn’t contribute less than everyone else.
4. Answer the phone so the caller only needs to say yes or no.
Whenever I answer the phone and I know who it is or know it’s not a cold call, I try to make it easiest on the caller. Instead of this conversation happening:
Me: ______’s office.
Caller: It’s Jim. Is _________ there?
I say this:
Me: ________’s office. Hey Jim. Let me see if I can find ________. Hold on.
5. Bake cookies, cupcakes, or any homemade gift during the holidays if you can’t afford at $10-$15 gift card from iTunes, Starbucks, or Jamba Juice.
In the past, one of my executives would burn a CD of holiday music and gave those out.
6. Print out your boss’ daily schedule and put in by your desk.
This helps immensely so your boss doesn’t have to check their schedule via their smartphone or walk back to their desk. It also helps when discussing with colleagues when they should stop by again to see your boss. If you’re like me, you always have about 10 different screens open on your computer which makes it a hassle to find the right one showing the calendar and then resuming your task.
7. Meet other assistants from other companies that you work with over lunch or coffee.
Every now and then, if I find myself working a lot with a particular assistant, I ask them if they’d be open to meeting for lunch. Sometimes I go to their office or they come to mine. It’s always nice to get to know them as people and it makes for a better working relationship since you can understand their role, their boss, and how they as clients fit into the bigger picture.
8. If you need to interrupt your boss in an important meeting or when they are on the phone, pass them a note.
In all the offices I’ve worked at, passing a Post-it note with large legible writing is the best way to get your boss information or to ask a question. The reason why writing it down is better is for confidentiality reasons and to not interrupt the meeting/call by talking. You will find that most often, the meeting will continue on around you or the meeting will stall only for 5 secs.
Before you enter the room, knock, then walk straight to your boss. Show them the note and wait for them to nod or shake their head, say they’ll call back, answer yes or no, or follow you out of the office. Then exit as quietly as you entered.
9. Answer every email/request right away even if only to say you got it and keep you posted on answer.
It’s helpful to give them an ETA on your answer and encourage them to check back with you frequently if they so desire.
10. When someone is asking for your help or has a request, write down everything they say and repeat back the information.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Escape the Vicious Cycle By Giving Yourself Permission
Whenever I seek out solace and validation, it’s really to listen for an answer that will reinforce what I already believe or really want to do. You have to realize that being the Type A person that I am, I hate asking for advice, help, or not being independent. I’m all about self-awareness. Since I was a teen, friends told me to become a philosopher because I constantly grilled them through questioning on what they wanted, who they were, and that knowing yourself was the key to life whenever they came to me with the problem. I would elicit answers and peel away their excuses, justifications, and logic until the only thing left was their unabashed truth.
However, despite all this self-knowledge, of course there would be a gnawing question or major dilemma that I would need to consult my circle of friends every now and then, no matter how self-sufficient I wanted to be. Even though I know the answer, I refuse to implement it because I have not yet given myself the permission to do whatever it is I really should or want, for fear of X, Y, or Z. Or sometimes I wouldn’t be able to see that holding back or not taking any action was the thing to do. It wouldn’t be until my trusted friend or confidante would give me the solution that I wanted that I would allow myself to do it by justifying is as, “They know me really well. They are also very smart, fair, and have my best interest at heart. Since they are an objective party to my dilemma their reasoning and advice must have value.”
If we could only have enough insight into ourselves and unwavering confidence in our loved ones to tell them, “This is my dilemma. This is what I want to do. I know you may not agree with my choice at all, but I really need your support.” Instead we poll all of our friends, find the ones that agree with us, do what we wanted to do all along, and know we can go back to them for more advice or update them on the outcome knowing they are on our side.
One of my biggest eye openers this year is that it took two people to finally get through to me that I didn’t HAVE to do anything if I didn’t want to or if I simply just wasn’t ready. For whatever reason, not being ready that wasn’t even an option in my eyes. My faulty line of thinking was: I must do this, I’m scared, I’ll do it to get it over with because it seems the right thing to do. I didn’t pause to examine if my reason for being scared was one that would push me forward and help me grow or one that hold me back and cause harm. It wasn’t until I spoke to my friends that I realized it was the latter. I knew that I would have to eventually go through with the action that I was scared of, but it didn’t have to be today or even tomorrow. Instead, I waited three weeks. And during those three weeks, I mentally prepared and practiced.
What was I scared of? Everything everyone is also scared of - the truth and what is means, reality, what it might say about me as a person, being rejected, doing or saying it incorrectly or imperfectly, having a difference of opinion or perspective, or not being validated.
Stop, think, and listen to that truth you hide even yourself, especially from yourself. This shall be my new motto.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
The Art of Being Lost
When I was in 5th grade, one of my favorite teachers taught me that, “I don’t know,” was an acceptable answer and to not be afraid to say it. This basic lesson had to be explained to us after repeated terrified expressions of the deer-in-the-headlights variety whenever she called on us that rendered victims mute, especially since we didn’t raise our hand. Later on we learned the better thing to do would be to go find the answer, but lesson number one was there should be no shame in admitting when you don’t know something. She said it takes a strong person to admit they are weak, or have a fault, and don’t know everything. Afterall, nobody is perfect.
So I proclaim I don’t know anymore. And I’m still getting used to the idea that it’s okay to not know all the time where I’m going, where I want to be, or how to get there. This is the difficulty of too much self-awareness, living without distractions, and living a life free of self-medicating reflexes. Where do you go from here when your life has always been lived so happily, pragmatically with such a goal-oriented focus?
Also in elementary school, my best friend was a straight A student. Her sister was a very average student. While her sister got tons of praise for bringing her C average up to a B average, my friend constantly got straight A’s and her parents never batted an eye. My friend almost secretly wished she was her sister. Maybe she would even go so far to let her grades drop and bring them back up again, just so her parents would appreciate all her hard work, although it is admittedly foolish. I could understand the sentiment and desperation though.
Everything is good, but not great. I’m not unhappy. I am also not overly happy for no reason like I usually am. The great news is, my closest friends couldn’t tell unless I mentioned it, so it’s obviously not that bad. I was spiritually tired, emotionally exhausted, and now in an improvement, I am etching toward just being plain bored - only a tad, a smidge - of being lost. Some days I feel fairly normal and other days maybe stretched a little thin.
Elizabeth Gilbert said that sometimes just waiting and seeing is often underestimated as a strategy. I decided to take that route - to NOT muse about how to fix feeling lost. I sit with it and accept I don’t have the answer now and may not for a couple weeks. In my quest to improve my life, the constant focus became a source of mild annoyance in and of itself. So begrudgingly I learned to accept it. I’m not sure where this will lead, but at least the burden isn’t looming over me.
The internal voice that constantly monitored if I had a solution to my woes no longer drones. My attitude now is,"So, I’m lost. Okay. Who cares? Now what? What’s next?" I finally got to this place because I eventually got fed up with myself. I always do. The pressure to be living my best life every single second is gone. In a small way, I gave myself permission - permission to not care, not stress, not fret, and not know the answer right this very second. I’m giving myself permission to say I don’t know. Maybe next month I’ll know, or at least have more perspective on how to find the answer... For now, admitting I don’t know is all I need to know. It is the answer.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Knowing Yourself is Saving Yourself & How To
If you’ve been reading my blog, you may have noticed I’ve mentioned Gretchen Rubin’s book The Happiness Project a couple of times here and there. I’ve been mulling over how to improve my already good life to appreciate it more. Through her daily blog she also tackles how difficult it is to truly live a happy day every day despite knowing herself well.
One of her main obstacles was figuring out what brought her joy. I also struggled with that although I consider myself very self-aware. Sometimes knowing yourself too much limits you and leaves you stranded just as if not knowing yourself at all leaves you confused on where to start. While I know what I like, a bigger problem was finding the time when I have 10-11 hour work days.
They say the rule is 8 hours of work, 8 hours of play, and 8 hours of sleep. I try to abide by that as much as possible, but ran into how else to take advantage of my personal time and life when I had such little waking time left. As a lover of learning, growing, and taking classes (and also sleep), there are very few night classes available for anything between needing to eat dinner and driving through LA traffic.
I’m very inspired today because I’ve found a few solutions after a lot of research and experimenting. I found a gymnastics class and also an intense stretching class that is offered 4Xs a week late enough that I can attend or get a good work out even if I am a few minutes late because the class is 90 minutes long. Although I have asthma, I may have found a way to run without medications - using athletic breathing masks. I also found a lovely park near my house to rollerskate, bike ride, run, or play badminton. These are much better solutions than what I tried before.
Archery was fun but without lessons, too hard to master. Pole dancing class was too expensive and required investing many, many hours to even be proficient. My former love of hula dancing was only offered at times when I couldn’t go. Being a Big Sister during work hours through a work/community option was no longer possible for me.
As you try to figure out how to live your best life, be patient with yourself. It’s taken me weeks to even get this much progress because I had to self-reflect a lot to even know which direction I wanted to go in. Then I had to research classes and options what would work with my schedule.
If you are still searching for your self and answers, ask yourself these questions.
If you had an entire day to yourself, how would you spend it?
Do you thrive in your own company or with others?
What makes you feel alive and inspired?
Do you get more joy and satisfaction out of exercising your mind, body, or feelings?
What did you enjoy doing as a child?
What values, beliefs, and actions do you want to exercise at play and even at work?
What don’t you like and why?
What current hobbies that you have are similar to newer ones that have the same skills or traits that you might enjoy?
Do you volunteer and with what organizations?
One of her main obstacles was figuring out what brought her joy. I also struggled with that although I consider myself very self-aware. Sometimes knowing yourself too much limits you and leaves you stranded just as if not knowing yourself at all leaves you confused on where to start. While I know what I like, a bigger problem was finding the time when I have 10-11 hour work days.
They say the rule is 8 hours of work, 8 hours of play, and 8 hours of sleep. I try to abide by that as much as possible, but ran into how else to take advantage of my personal time and life when I had such little waking time left. As a lover of learning, growing, and taking classes (and also sleep), there are very few night classes available for anything between needing to eat dinner and driving through LA traffic.
I’m very inspired today because I’ve found a few solutions after a lot of research and experimenting. I found a gymnastics class and also an intense stretching class that is offered 4Xs a week late enough that I can attend or get a good work out even if I am a few minutes late because the class is 90 minutes long. Although I have asthma, I may have found a way to run without medications - using athletic breathing masks. I also found a lovely park near my house to rollerskate, bike ride, run, or play badminton. These are much better solutions than what I tried before.
Archery was fun but without lessons, too hard to master. Pole dancing class was too expensive and required investing many, many hours to even be proficient. My former love of hula dancing was only offered at times when I couldn’t go. Being a Big Sister during work hours through a work/community option was no longer possible for me.
As you try to figure out how to live your best life, be patient with yourself. It’s taken me weeks to even get this much progress because I had to self-reflect a lot to even know which direction I wanted to go in. Then I had to research classes and options what would work with my schedule.
If you are still searching for your self and answers, ask yourself these questions.
If you had an entire day to yourself, how would you spend it?
Do you thrive in your own company or with others?
What makes you feel alive and inspired?
Do you get more joy and satisfaction out of exercising your mind, body, or feelings?
What did you enjoy doing as a child?
What values, beliefs, and actions do you want to exercise at play and even at work?
What don’t you like and why?
What current hobbies that you have are similar to newer ones that have the same skills or traits that you might enjoy?
Do you volunteer and with what organizations?
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Hardest Task You’ll Ever Overcome
In times of turmoil, despair, or confusion, the hardest task to overcome is the feeling of being helpless, lost, or uneasy. That distinct feeling of anxiety, panic, feeling nothing, feeling too much or being torn between trying to do everything and doing nothing is what I am referring. To not know what to do or to no longer feel comfortable in your own skin is scary. To no longer have clarity, peace of mind, and good sleep because it has been replaced with racing thoughts, physical discomfort of a heavy heart, a stomach as if gripped in a vice, or no appetite are the hallmarks that things are awry.
Regardless of what caused it, the hardest task will be to just sit with these feelings, thoughts, and physical ailments. It is also probably one of best things you can do. Avoidance, numbing, self-medicating or denying all of it only compounds the problem. The sooner you face everything, the faster things will resolve. In this age of instant gratification, money seeming to buy happiness, and awesome technology, it seems counter intuitive to sit back and just immerse yourself in the situation.
While friends and family will want to help you, the reality is, some things can’t be taken care of by others. You and only you alone can go through a trying experience. Only you know yourself best and how to proceed once you feel a little bit more aware and calm from whatever situation you are trying to resolve. If you can learn to face yourself, alone in the middle of the night, and accept your inner voice, the private thoughts you think, and the swirling chaos within you, you have won half the battle.
There have been times in my life where I met sheer terror through life events. In the beginning for first couple of days, the only thing I could do was sleep 3-4 hours as my life spinned out of control. The remaining waking hours were spent with heart palpitations, talking to friends trying to sort out what was going on and how I felt about everything, and vague plans for how I could fix the situation. Sometimes there was no solution. The only solution was to live with the new reality that I didn’t want to face.
Whenever I feel life couldn’t get any worse, I wallow in whatever it is I’m feeling. I’m the type that tries to get everything out of my system all at once to get it over with. If I’m sad, I’ll cry as much as I want as often as I want. Maybe it will be for 3 days, it might last 2 weeks. The point is, whatever I’m feeling, I know if I can just get through that emotion, I can find the healing place sooner. If I’m angry, I think about all the reasons why I’m angry. I read, I make lists, I solidify my arguments. My goal is to acknowledge my feelings as strongly and deeply as I can to use them as step stones to finding peace again. If I’m not hungry, maybe I’ll only eat once a day. If I’m tired, maybe I’ll sleep more as long as I’m taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of. Do what you have to in that hour to get to the next hour and to get through the day. As long as you are not being self destructive, you are doing okay.
And that’s the key, what is it that you do to relieve your stress and anxiety in a healthy way while facing your obstacles? Is it to exercise, socialize, read, or help others? Cultivate activities or minor distractions to preserve your mental and emotional state from unraveling further. Those are your strongest assets to moving on. There is nothing more precious and valuable than human capital - thinking, feeling, and reacting well during life’s most difficult moments. Learn to live with the decisions you make because only you can live your life; no one can live your life for you.
Regardless of what caused it, the hardest task will be to just sit with these feelings, thoughts, and physical ailments. It is also probably one of best things you can do. Avoidance, numbing, self-medicating or denying all of it only compounds the problem. The sooner you face everything, the faster things will resolve. In this age of instant gratification, money seeming to buy happiness, and awesome technology, it seems counter intuitive to sit back and just immerse yourself in the situation.
While friends and family will want to help you, the reality is, some things can’t be taken care of by others. You and only you alone can go through a trying experience. Only you know yourself best and how to proceed once you feel a little bit more aware and calm from whatever situation you are trying to resolve. If you can learn to face yourself, alone in the middle of the night, and accept your inner voice, the private thoughts you think, and the swirling chaos within you, you have won half the battle.
There have been times in my life where I met sheer terror through life events. In the beginning for first couple of days, the only thing I could do was sleep 3-4 hours as my life spinned out of control. The remaining waking hours were spent with heart palpitations, talking to friends trying to sort out what was going on and how I felt about everything, and vague plans for how I could fix the situation. Sometimes there was no solution. The only solution was to live with the new reality that I didn’t want to face.
Whenever I feel life couldn’t get any worse, I wallow in whatever it is I’m feeling. I’m the type that tries to get everything out of my system all at once to get it over with. If I’m sad, I’ll cry as much as I want as often as I want. Maybe it will be for 3 days, it might last 2 weeks. The point is, whatever I’m feeling, I know if I can just get through that emotion, I can find the healing place sooner. If I’m angry, I think about all the reasons why I’m angry. I read, I make lists, I solidify my arguments. My goal is to acknowledge my feelings as strongly and deeply as I can to use them as step stones to finding peace again. If I’m not hungry, maybe I’ll only eat once a day. If I’m tired, maybe I’ll sleep more as long as I’m taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of. Do what you have to in that hour to get to the next hour and to get through the day. As long as you are not being self destructive, you are doing okay.
And that’s the key, what is it that you do to relieve your stress and anxiety in a healthy way while facing your obstacles? Is it to exercise, socialize, read, or help others? Cultivate activities or minor distractions to preserve your mental and emotional state from unraveling further. Those are your strongest assets to moving on. There is nothing more precious and valuable than human capital - thinking, feeling, and reacting well during life’s most difficult moments. Learn to live with the decisions you make because only you can live your life; no one can live your life for you.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Answering Reader Mail: What Do Employers Look for in High-Level EA Candidates?
“I came across your blog while surfing the net for information on high-level executive assistants. There wasn't much information out there. I found your blog very helpful. I have some experience as an executive assistant for mid-management, but I am starting to apply for jobs that support high level executives, such as CEO, Chief Counsel & managing partners. Can you tell me what they are looking for besides experience?
I am being considered as a potential candidate because I am bilingual, have a paralegal certificate and masters degree in financial analysis. Beside being a junior level EA and having multiple administrative support jobs in the past, I am not sure how I can present myself as a capable and competent EA.
Do you have any suggestions/advice for me? Thanks.”
Dear MJ,
I’m glad you enjoy my blog. I hope I can be of some help! It’s always nice to get questions from my readers! Since you asked 3 different questions, here is my advice for you.
5 Things Companies Look For Besides Experience:
Besides looking for experience, a lot of companies are looking for the right fit. Whether it be personality, management style, corporate culture fit, and likability, there’s a reason why people would rather work with someone fairly competent with a great personality versus an amazing assistant that is a Debbie Downer/etc. So how does this translate to you?
1) I’ve always found it extremely helpful to be and communicate that you are experienced, but willing to learn, be humble, and fine with doing the mundane tasks or dirty work. The goal is to be well-rounded in all aspects. If you’re afraid you’ll only be picking up dry cleaning all day, you can state what you are looking for by saying, “My background has been as an executive assistant, where 90% of my workload related to the office and 10% was personal business handling x, y, z.” Keep in mind this most likely doesn’t mean you’ll get out of picking up lunch or making coffee on occasion. In interviews I’ve said that I’ve worked for introverts and extroverts and my job is to conform to the needs of my boss. I state my job is to assimilate to what already exists at the company and to be team player and to do what is best for the company because without the company, I wouldn’t be here. So bring your experience, wisdom, and people skills to the table, but have a “I’m green, hungry for the job, I’ll hustle” attitude as well. The reality of being an EA is that while the phones, calendar, and travel are essentially the same in every office your boss and your team are always unique people with their own work styles and needs. First and foremost, your job as an EA is to master working with many different people in a customer service role, and the admin work is actually secondary.
2) Another suggestion is to be happy about working with all levels of staff from the security guard to the executives and treat them all well. This means when you show up for the interview you are courteous to everyone. Your interview starts even before you shake hands with anyone or answer an interview question. It’s not uncommon to hear others’ weighing in on what they thought of you. If appropriate and true, during the interview process, you can mention you take the time to have lunch with other assistants, interns, or other co-workers just to understand them better as people, the office environment, and pick their brain for advice. The point is to communicate you realize you are “the face of the office/company” and will ensure to put your best foot forward in all scenarios.
3) Communicate you navigate office politics well and understand seniority. This can be illustrated during the interview portion as you see fit. For example, when I’m asked how I got started and to explain my work history, I always want to tell a great story. I mention how I worked for all my CEOs because I was recruited away as a temp. I point out the only interaction I had with many of the CEOs were through their assistants by delivering memos. And they noticed that I would come in, drop off the papers, and leave. But what did this illustrate? I wasn’t there to say hello, get in “good” with the higher ups, network, or gawk at any famous people that might have been there. I was there to do my job; I didn’t loiter. And what I’d end up hearing was, the CEO’s office noticed me because I was there to do my job and only do my job. I wasn’t there to socialize or go out of my way to point out I was a temp to try to get a full-time job. I wanted to do my job well for whatever it was they hired me to do. My goal as temp was to be asked back as a temp repeatedly - that’s it. Proving I was a good temp, proved that I would be a good full-time employee.
4) As appropriate, illustrate you understand how vital discretion is. It’s perplexing to me that even during interviews, I’m actually asked point-blank if I’m very discreet and won’t share confidential information even though my career obviously illustrates I’ve been trusted and referred by some very credible people. I have even been asked about how much I socialize at work. I answered that while it is nice to have friends to go to lunch with occasionally, I mention how I was groomed the same way by all the CEO’s offices where one never knows if they befriend you at the office for hidden agendas. So I state I don’t talk about work with anyone just to be safe.
5) Learn to never say no.
One of the best traits as an executive assistant is that you never want to say no. When asked a question or a request, you want to either have the answer or get to it immediately. Exhaust all resources. One of my toughest assignments was when I had less than 24 hours to find a new location for an all-day recruiting event. The difficult part was between the 3 hour time zone difference and finding out late in the afternoon meant I really had less than a couple of hours to actually take care of it all. Luckily, I did! Phew!
3 Things To Demonstrate To Present Yourself As A Capable and Competent EA:
1) Show you have supervised others even if interns or 2nd assistants and your jobs put you on a path to constantly learn and grow
2) Have really good problem solving stories for your interview
3) Bring a portfolio of your work on Powerpoint presentations, Excel documents or legal documents that demonstrate your mastery and skills
3 Miscellaneous Suggestions and Advice:
1) When asked why you want to be an EA and how long you plan to stay, have a really good honest selling answer on why you enjoy the work. A good executive assistant is hard to find, one that will stay more than a year is even harder. It also is very helpful to have many credible referrals and recommendation letters from people that give a 360 view of who you are as a person and a professional. I often turn these extra documents in before my first interview or bring them to the interview. I also always bring many copies of my resume, cover letter, and recommendations. I've actually been interviewed panel style with4-6 people in one room.
2) Brand yourself and your specialties well from cover letter to resume to your LinkedIn profile and your entire online presence. I've actually been headhunted by my LinkedIn profile alone. I also always have the link in my email signature. Think of your unique selling point, it should be one sentence long. Mine is:
High-Level Assistant for Chairmen/CEOs of Fortune-ranked companies, including Exec Producers
3) To take your career to the next level aim by being the 1st or sole assistant to a C-Level executive at a small, but reputable company or 2nd assistant at bigger, well-known place.
Keep in touch, ask more questions, and good luck on your journey!
I am being considered as a potential candidate because I am bilingual, have a paralegal certificate and masters degree in financial analysis. Beside being a junior level EA and having multiple administrative support jobs in the past, I am not sure how I can present myself as a capable and competent EA.
Do you have any suggestions/advice for me? Thanks.”
Dear MJ,
I’m glad you enjoy my blog. I hope I can be of some help! It’s always nice to get questions from my readers! Since you asked 3 different questions, here is my advice for you.
5 Things Companies Look For Besides Experience:
Besides looking for experience, a lot of companies are looking for the right fit. Whether it be personality, management style, corporate culture fit, and likability, there’s a reason why people would rather work with someone fairly competent with a great personality versus an amazing assistant that is a Debbie Downer/etc. So how does this translate to you?
1) I’ve always found it extremely helpful to be and communicate that you are experienced, but willing to learn, be humble, and fine with doing the mundane tasks or dirty work. The goal is to be well-rounded in all aspects. If you’re afraid you’ll only be picking up dry cleaning all day, you can state what you are looking for by saying, “My background has been as an executive assistant, where 90% of my workload related to the office and 10% was personal business handling x, y, z.” Keep in mind this most likely doesn’t mean you’ll get out of picking up lunch or making coffee on occasion. In interviews I’ve said that I’ve worked for introverts and extroverts and my job is to conform to the needs of my boss. I state my job is to assimilate to what already exists at the company and to be team player and to do what is best for the company because without the company, I wouldn’t be here. So bring your experience, wisdom, and people skills to the table, but have a “I’m green, hungry for the job, I’ll hustle” attitude as well. The reality of being an EA is that while the phones, calendar, and travel are essentially the same in every office your boss and your team are always unique people with their own work styles and needs. First and foremost, your job as an EA is to master working with many different people in a customer service role, and the admin work is actually secondary.
2) Another suggestion is to be happy about working with all levels of staff from the security guard to the executives and treat them all well. This means when you show up for the interview you are courteous to everyone. Your interview starts even before you shake hands with anyone or answer an interview question. It’s not uncommon to hear others’ weighing in on what they thought of you. If appropriate and true, during the interview process, you can mention you take the time to have lunch with other assistants, interns, or other co-workers just to understand them better as people, the office environment, and pick their brain for advice. The point is to communicate you realize you are “the face of the office/company” and will ensure to put your best foot forward in all scenarios.
3) Communicate you navigate office politics well and understand seniority. This can be illustrated during the interview portion as you see fit. For example, when I’m asked how I got started and to explain my work history, I always want to tell a great story. I mention how I worked for all my CEOs because I was recruited away as a temp. I point out the only interaction I had with many of the CEOs were through their assistants by delivering memos. And they noticed that I would come in, drop off the papers, and leave. But what did this illustrate? I wasn’t there to say hello, get in “good” with the higher ups, network, or gawk at any famous people that might have been there. I was there to do my job; I didn’t loiter. And what I’d end up hearing was, the CEO’s office noticed me because I was there to do my job and only do my job. I wasn’t there to socialize or go out of my way to point out I was a temp to try to get a full-time job. I wanted to do my job well for whatever it was they hired me to do. My goal as temp was to be asked back as a temp repeatedly - that’s it. Proving I was a good temp, proved that I would be a good full-time employee.
4) As appropriate, illustrate you understand how vital discretion is. It’s perplexing to me that even during interviews, I’m actually asked point-blank if I’m very discreet and won’t share confidential information even though my career obviously illustrates I’ve been trusted and referred by some very credible people. I have even been asked about how much I socialize at work. I answered that while it is nice to have friends to go to lunch with occasionally, I mention how I was groomed the same way by all the CEO’s offices where one never knows if they befriend you at the office for hidden agendas. So I state I don’t talk about work with anyone just to be safe.
5) Learn to never say no.
One of the best traits as an executive assistant is that you never want to say no. When asked a question or a request, you want to either have the answer or get to it immediately. Exhaust all resources. One of my toughest assignments was when I had less than 24 hours to find a new location for an all-day recruiting event. The difficult part was between the 3 hour time zone difference and finding out late in the afternoon meant I really had less than a couple of hours to actually take care of it all. Luckily, I did! Phew!
3 Things To Demonstrate To Present Yourself As A Capable and Competent EA:
1) Show you have supervised others even if interns or 2nd assistants and your jobs put you on a path to constantly learn and grow
2) Have really good problem solving stories for your interview
3) Bring a portfolio of your work on Powerpoint presentations, Excel documents or legal documents that demonstrate your mastery and skills
3 Miscellaneous Suggestions and Advice:
1) When asked why you want to be an EA and how long you plan to stay, have a really good honest selling answer on why you enjoy the work. A good executive assistant is hard to find, one that will stay more than a year is even harder. It also is very helpful to have many credible referrals and recommendation letters from people that give a 360 view of who you are as a person and a professional. I often turn these extra documents in before my first interview or bring them to the interview. I also always bring many copies of my resume, cover letter, and recommendations. I've actually been interviewed panel style with4-6 people in one room.
2) Brand yourself and your specialties well from cover letter to resume to your LinkedIn profile and your entire online presence. I've actually been headhunted by my LinkedIn profile alone. I also always have the link in my email signature. Think of your unique selling point, it should be one sentence long. Mine is:
High-Level Assistant for Chairmen/CEOs of Fortune-ranked companies, including Exec Producers
3) To take your career to the next level aim by being the 1st or sole assistant to a C-Level executive at a small, but reputable company or 2nd assistant at bigger, well-known place.
Keep in touch, ask more questions, and good luck on your journey!
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